Let your mouth gape open and suck in some of this new air!

Like Charles Foster Kane, I write my mission statement for you, the reader, and publish it on the first page (as long as you don't tear it out and ask to keep it to rub it in my face later when I become a pathetic, lonely, megalomaniacal egotist who totally lacks the ability to connect with other humans in any meaningful way) (just kidding, that describes me exactly how I am already!):

I pledge to make this blog full of


and sometimes to get a little serious to provoke some personal


and, ultimately, great


!!!

So I'll see you around, you fabulous person. Have I told you lately how much I enjoy your company, no matter what everyone else says about you when you're not around? It's true! Your braying, snort-filled laugh is like music to my ears, and your ridiculous sense of style has its own fun quirkiness that just screams I BUY MY CLOTHES OFF THE INTERNET WITHOUT TRYING THEM ON, I DRESS IN THE DARK, I LACK FUNDAMENTAL UNDERSTANDING OF STYLE AND COLOR, I NEVER LOOK IN MIRRORS, AND I DON'T GIVE A CARE WHO KNOWS IT! Love you!!!!!
Signed,
K. Lee Ingram
June 16, 2010