Monday, December 31, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012


eyes that follow you across the room because they are pointing in every godly direction

Thursday, December 13, 2012

there was a girl who was all alone in the world
she had no freinds and cried her self to sleep every night
she left her school one day and found a boy crying too
he was under a tree by his self holding a picture
she went over to him
"can i see you picture" she asked him
he wipe his tears
he show her the picture
it was a beautiful lady
"she beautiful" said the girl
"but why you crying"
he smile and wipe more of his tears
"that is a mirror I wanted you to see that you are beautiful" he say
they both cry and hug and be in love

next day she died of cancer

learn to love your self before it is too late

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Clown Children More Likely to Have Seen Some "Serious Shit"


Top Signs Your Boss Is Trying to Murder You


White People Only Ones Who Use Chopsticks with Chinese Takeout


Men Wearing Dresses Like They Really Think They're Ladies: "Just Too Silly!" Reports Everyone


Strange Lady Grips Paul McCartney Plaque, Makes Everyone Feel Sad


You Think YOU Had a Tough Childhood? Read on.



Older Men More Likely to Believe Their Brains Will Spontaneously Fall Out of The Backs of Their Heads



"Fuck, I Don't Know Where the Fucker Got to!" Protests Rick


Fun and Great Lady Is Good at Preparing Tasty Food,  Enjoying Technology





Sunday, March 18, 2012

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Why Prince's "Raspberry Beret" is about a Young Man Who Takes Advantage of a Mentally Retarded Girl

Prince's thing has always been "sensually describing the ways I will fuck you, no matter what you look like." Clearly, this is what ladies love, although them sexy platforms don't hurt his case either. Does he take this "don't matter who are" fuck sensibility too far in "Raspberry Beret"? LET'S TAKE A CLOSER FUCK LOOK.

One!
Two!
One, two, three!
Here, Prince is establishing his normal mental faculties in a manner you will agree is only described as "mathematical hot-dogging."

I was workin' part-time at a five-and-dime
My boss was Mr. McGee
He told me several times that he didn't like my kind
'Cause I was a bit too leisurely
It seems that I was busy doin' somethin' close to nothin'
But different than the day before
Yet again, he is bragging about his superior normie brain. He not only holds a job but knows the name of his boss. We get it, Prince. You perform everyday tasks. No one is impressed. EXCEPT...

That's when I saw her
Ooh, when I saw her
She walked in through the out door, out door
...THE ONE PERSON WHO CANNOT DO THESE THINGS BECAUSE SHE CANNOT UNDERSTAND SIGNS OR SOCIAL NORMS.

Chorus:
She wore a raspberry beret
The kind you'd find in a secondhand store
Great, now she's poor, too.
Raspberry beret
If it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
And she doesn't understand how clothes work?
Raspberry beret
I think I love her
Unless you're Benny and she's Joon--also, this is in present tense. HE STILL HASN'T BROUGHT HER BACK TO THE HOME?

Built like she was, she had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do her any harm
Now it's getting serious. She is frightened and confused by this world of two different types of doors and temperature-dependent clothing customs, and now some dimestore employee is threatening her with a thorough fucking. TWIST: DIMESTORES DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE.

So look here now, I put her on the back of my bike
And we went ridin' down by Old Man Johnson's farm
I said now, overcast days never turned me on
But somethin' 'bout the clouds and her mixed
He has to place her onto his motorcycle and drive her into the country, away from the town and people who could call 911 when they saw him grinding on this confused, almost-nude girl. Not too sure about those last two lines there, but my understanding is that he has ingested handfuls of ketamine and is hallucinating his purple balls off. Now WAIT FOR IT:

She wasn't too bright, but I could tell
When she kissed me, s
he knew how to get her kicks
SEE, not any kind of misinterpretation on my part. And he can't even pretend like he didn't know that she had some kind of developmental disorder! Guess no one taught you the ol' "IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED HER TO DO MATH FOR ME" trick to get out of this kind of trouble, Prince? He even believes she is liking this. Unless "get her kicks" means she's struggling :(

Rain sounds so cool when it hits the barn roof
And the horses wonder who you are
Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees
You feel like a movie star
They say the first time ain't the greatest
But I'll tell ya, if I had the chance to do it all again
I wouldn't change a stroke
'Cause baby, I'm the most
With a girl as fine as she was then
The rest of the song is him bragging about getting a handy while bewildering some farm animals. But can we all learn something about Prince's total acceptance of everyone, as long as they are women he can fuck? "Can" meaning "is able to regardless of mental faculties of his partner"? YOU TELL ME (don't actually tell me, I don't care).