Sunday, October 13, 2013

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

you know when you don't ask someone to do something for you but then they do and it inconveniences them in some sense then later when you impose on them in some way, intentional or not, they say to you "but I did THAT for you"

what would ayn rand think of that? I can't get this down to a googleable amount of words

hold my hand
--< >--

I'm thinking of making this into a 200 foot-long painting

what do you call an architect who attracts all the lady cars

an auto cad

Monday, September 2, 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Monday, July 22, 2013

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Monday, June 24, 2013

or blog template widths

Friday, May 10, 2013

bad juju

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Monday, April 1, 2013


Spring has springed, as they say, and what better time to do pranks on a friend or neighbor than the most fertile of seasons?

  • Place a fetal pig in your office's water cooler and send an office-wide email about gettin' some pig juice
  • Rotate the furniture in your roommate's room 360 degrees and hide to watch the hijinx ensue
  • Maggots fit nicely into holes in a phone receiver
  • Fill your friend's gas tank up with baking soda and vinegar. "Your car is a volcano!" you will say, laughing
  • Offer someone some gum, and if they say yes, pull out one of their eye teeth and say "there's some gum right there"
  • Bees, bees, bees
  • Slip a microwave into the pocket of someone who has a pacemaker  and hide to watch the hijinx ensue
  • Put some live squirrels on a friend's wall and paint over them. Wait till your friend goes in the room, chuck some handfuls of acorns in with them and delight as the walls come alive
  • Acid, acid, acid
  • Fill the toilet bowls in your house with chum. "WHAT IS THIS?" your family will shriek, flushing. That's when they'll see the baby sharks you put in the toilet tanks.
  • Apologize to everyone you see for slavery and say it will never happen again. Wink.
  • Tell your friend you switched around their phone contacts, but don't actually do it. Then key their car.
  • Set all the office clocks to be 10 minutes minutes behind. Email timestamps will still be correct, so send a mass email from a personal address that says GREETINGS FROM THE FUTURE! SORRY ABOUT YOUR WIFE :( to your whole office and hide to watch the hijinx ensue
  • Go to a library

Friday, March 15, 2013

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


Monday, February 25, 2013

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Thursday, January 24, 2013