Manny the Manatee: The Blog Post: The Movie

Listen the fuck up, Disney. You're terrible. You're struggling. You need a movie with a--are you listening?--MANATEE IN IT. They're no diggity SO HOT right now. 87 out of 92 stupid kids agree, manatees are the new vampires. "Oh no!" you pussies are thinking. "Now we have to write some movie about manatees! What the hell are manatees?" ERRRNNNNNHHHH (STEPPING ON BREAKS NOISE)!! HOLD IT, you Disney corporate fatcat wall streets! I ALREADY wrote this goddamn movie FOR you!!! It's about a Manatee named MANNY and he has a girl friend and a bad hammerhead Shark nemesis and why the fuck not a slow loris friend, because kids are too stupid to know what slow lorises is. It can talk with a Jamaican accent or some shit. Now, a bunch of cartoon industry dumbfucks, including yourselves, are thinking 3-D and CGI are the new way to go. WRONG!!! Just LOOK at the Accessories folder in your Start launch and see for yourselves -- it's MS PAINT. Kids these days don't learn jackshit about art ANYWHERE. Schools don't have money for art classes, and when kids DO get markers and glue, they spend all their time huffing or smoking it while sexting their teachers. The first experience this new generation of children get with art is awkwardly drawing Spongebob giving it to that fucking squirrel using the spray tool on the universal art-making program, MS PAINT. Not sold yet? Well, fuck you too. And read this excerpt from my script I typed on WORD, a professional word processing program:

MANNY I am save the ocean? But I am scarewd! TITTERELLA I belief in you I think the water neds you ot MANNY STOP TALKING I NEED TO THINIK OK JAMBI THE SLOW LORIS Ya mon like lit da mon dink he ned to sef os fram da shork do MANNY Jambi i Can always count of you for sense. JAMBI THE SLOW LORIS (gets hits in the nuts with a starfish) Oyyyy monnn, my notttts!! (author's note: catchphrase JACKPOT)

I will share the rest of this script and drawings with you, Disney or whoever else has money, for the low low price of 250 grand and a lifetime supply of weed. Drop ya info below if you know what's good for ya!