Only after the velociraptor had attacked, eviscerated, and finished devouring the plump, greasy naked pink ape who had climbed into its cave did it realize what it had done. The jingling of the sleigh bells perched atop its rocky lair and unmistakable mixture of elaphine stink and jolliness made its nostrils quiver with voracious hunger and sudden guilt."OH NO!" it shrieked, red specks of gristle flying from its steel-strong jaw. "I've ruined CHRISTMAS! How will I fix this mess?"
It plopped onto the icy cave floor as well as a velociraptor can plop and buried its head in its razor sharp claw hands. Out of the corner of its emotionless amber eye, in a pool of viscerae, it spotted starlight glinting, ever so slightly, off of what looked to be short fur.
"Is that— could it be—" it squealed hopefully, snortling quickly and leaning forward to peer. Despite the velociraptor's colorblindness and the bloody mess of the puddle, it was sure the fur was pure, jolly red. It lifted it up out of the clumpy bloodied mass. "His hat!"
Fitting the Santa hat over its bony skull, it gnashed victoriously in the air and let out a hideous, cacophonous scream. "THIS CHRISTMAS IS FUCKING CRETACEOUS!"
No comments:
Post a Comment