Monday, March 7, 2011

You got a case of the hungries and you waitin' in my welfare line

5 cups dandelion flour
1 stick (1/2 cup) bat butter
2 quarts soymond milk
2 cups arthurberries
1 tsp baking cocaine
2,000 spider eggs
1 bag cheese curls
10 tears of pure sadness

Heat oven to 375° Kelvin. Throw dry ingredients into a giant bowl. Scoop into smaller glass bowl. Stick under bed. Whisk eggs, milk, butter, berries, tears, and a handful of water from the toilet tank (or the bowl, no one is judging here) until your wrist begins to bleed. Squeeze one drop of wrist blood into the batter. Throw some pepper or whatever the fuck coriander is on top. Eat the cheese curls. Get the bowl out from under your bed. Call your dad. Hang up before he answers. Put the bowl in the oven and close your blinds so you can watch the Disney channel until you realize you didn't mix in the wet part of the ingredients. Pour both bowls into an old hupcap and swirl around until dry mix is reasonably moistened. Sneeze. Bake with the oven door open for 100 minutes or until you begin to feel drowsy.
fwum my home to yours ♥
K. Lee Ing.

1 comment:

  1. I know no one asked, but soymond milk is in fact half soy, half Raymond.

    ReplyDelete