PLOT SUMMARY
It was an ordinary brisk fall day in Horror Falls, Maryland. Little did paranormal specialist Sam Cranston (Keanu Reeves) know that that day, America would depend on him to thwart one thief’s nefarious plot to steal the nation’s most precious historical artifacts, its largest reserve of gold ingots, and the White House.
But there’s just one problem—this thief, Aloysius Nutgomery (voiced by Mark Wahlberg), is pretty unconventional. So unconventional that he’s actually an invisible spirit from the underworld, bent on revenge against the country that betrayed him. But what about Sam’s pending wedding to beautiful Maria (Beyonce), the exotic stripper with a heart of gold and a doctorate in cryptozoology, and his angst-filled but good-hearted daughter (Demi Lovato) getting kicked out of private school and fired from her dog-walking job on the day before her homecoming date with the hottest guys in school (the Jonas brothers)?
Supporting cast includes John Malkovich as Pentworth Q. Moneydollars, Al Pacino as Dr. Wilfred Cranston, Katy Perry as President Tina, Dolly Parton as herself, and Queen Latifah as the voice of Eloisa, the Sassy Poltergeist. Available in 3D and IMAX.
EXCERPT
SAM CRANSTON
Madam President, I have something very important to tell you.
PRESIDENT TINA
I am listening now.
SAM CRANSTON
A poltergeist is going to steal the White House.
PRESIDENT TINA
What.
SAM CRANSTON
Yuh.
PRESIDENT TINA
Whoa. Are you sure.
SAM CRANSTON
Uh, I have been researching the paranormal for like years. So I am so sure. This morning I stopped the poltergeist from stealing the Fox Diamond and Lincoln’s first tricycle, and then before lunch I stopped him from taking the gold ingots from the Treasury building.
PRESIDENT TINA
[Drops presidential robes seductively]
I bet you are so tired. Big boy.
SAM CRANSTON
Ms. President please. We have work to do. And I am going to marry a very lovely lady. [checks watch] …in TWO HOURS? OH NO!!!
PRESIDENT TINA
[Puts robes back on] We better get to work then. We have a White House to save and the love of your life for you to wed.
SAM CRANSTON
Yuh.
[End scene]
Madam President, I have something very important to tell you.
PRESIDENT TINA
I am listening now.
SAM CRANSTON
A poltergeist is going to steal the White House.
PRESIDENT TINA
What.
SAM CRANSTON
Yuh.
PRESIDENT TINA
Whoa. Are you sure.
SAM CRANSTON
Uh, I have been researching the paranormal for like years. So I am so sure. This morning I stopped the poltergeist from stealing the Fox Diamond and Lincoln’s first tricycle, and then before lunch I stopped him from taking the gold ingots from the Treasury building.
PRESIDENT TINA
[Drops presidential robes seductively]
I bet you are so tired. Big boy.
SAM CRANSTON
Ms. President please. We have work to do. And I am going to marry a very lovely lady. [checks watch] …in TWO HOURS? OH NO!!!
PRESIDENT TINA
[Puts robes back on] We better get to work then. We have a White House to save and the love of your life for you to wed.
SAM CRANSTON
Yuh.
[End scene]
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